


A rose by any other name would smell as sweet

by Ellstra



Series: Love on the workplace [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, Emperor Hux, M/M, hux's first name, kylo loves darth vader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 08:38:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6416554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellstra/pseuds/Ellstra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Emperor's first name is a mystery. Not even Kylo Ren knows it and he knows everything about Hux. One day, he realises he has to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A rose by any other name would smell as sweet

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't know whether I should add this story to this series and then I thought: "Ah, screw it, it doesn't disrupt the story in any way." So here goes.  
> I had this idea after seeing a post on tumblr with the first sentence of this fic and I just had to write this down.  
>  ~~I'm very proud of the name of this story. It's not from a song this time! Still a reference though.~~

“Do you have a first name or can I call you mine?” Kylo asked suddenly.

“What the hell, Ren?” Hux grumbled and turned to his side to look at his lover.

“It’s a pick-up line I read somewhere,” Kylo shrugged, “not the point. Really, you’ve told me everything, you said you loved me, you told me about your asshole father, about the people you had killed to earn your rank but you never told me your first name.”

“That’s because I don’t have one,” Hux mumbled.

“What? Everyone has a first name,” Kylo raised one eyebrow to convey his suspicion.

“Well, technically I have one. It’s Emperor at the moment.”

“What?”

“My parents always called me by my best achievement,” Hux explained, his voice flat, “I suppose that’s why I became a General so soon. It sounds much better than ‘Cadet’ or ‘Corporal’.”

“Wait, you’re serious about this.”

“Yes. In fact, I’m serious most of the time.”

“But they had to give you _some_ name when you were born.”

“I suppose they did,” Hux sighed, “but as far as I know, there’s no record of it. Wherever I found a mention of myself, it corresponded with what I remember – it was always ‘eight-year-old Hux’ or something like that.”

“But you must have a birth certificate.”

“That’s what I thought too, but somehow I seem to have made it through life without it.”

“That’s sick.”

“It’s worse when you start wondering what they called me when I was an infant,” Hux pointed out.

“I can’t even imagine you as a baby,” Kylo said, “I just assumed you’ve always been an obnoxious piece of shit, only smaller.”

“Oh you’re so very funny,” Hux muttered.

“I’m not joking now,” Kylo put on a solemn expression, “you don’t have a first name. I am in a committed relationship with someone who doesn’t have name. How lame am I?”

“You’ve always been lame,” Hux rolled his eyes, “your affiliation with me actually increased your value, because you’re no longer a miserable little boy who’s never had a friend.”

“As if you ever had a friend.”

“But – unlike you – I’ve always been perfectly comfortable with it.”

“Bullshit,” Kylo snapped, “It was you who started with the whole cuddling and kissing and ‘I love you’ business.”

“Because I’m not a cheap prostitute,” Hux tried to keep his dignity alive with next to no success. Kylo decided not to delve into how obvious the lie was and revelled in the fact that Hux had in fact loved him a lot sooner than it was mutual.  
“Of course you’re not,” Kylo purred, “you’re a luxurious one. Custom-made for me.”

“You’re so arrogant.”

“That’s why you love me,” Kylo reminded him, “You can pretend you’re modest and humble when you have me by your side.”

“Oh no, now you know my secret!” Hux faked a gasp.

“Don’t go off-topic,” Kylo said, “We have to come up with a first name for you.”

“I’ve got by without it my whole life and now I need it?”

“What if I want to make an announcement in the mall when I lose you? I can’t say ‘Hux, come here.’ That sounds stupid.”

“Are you kidding me?” Hux burst out laughing, “Out of the hundreds of situation in which it might appear like you need to use my first name, and you choose this one?”

“What? So I didn’t think it through.”

“It didn’t even see thinking from a moving shuttle,” Hux chuckled, “First, we don’t go to malls. Second, even if we did and someone got lost, it would be you. Third, you wouldn’t have any clue how to ask the clerk to allow you to make an announcement anyway. And last, most importantly, you’d still say ‘Hux, come here’ and then you’d start crying to make me come get you faster.”

“Fine, you win. But you still need a first name.”

“You’ve never expressed any problem with the lack of it. You’ve been calling me all sorts of things, ranging from ‘dirty slut’ to ‘my moons and stars’, I’d say you have it covered.”

“Yes right, because when I end up in an hospital and they ask me for my emergency contact, I’m going to say ‘Dirty slut, the Emperor.’”

“I’m quite positive that ‘the Emperor’ would suffice.”

“Well, it does for now, but how about when people learn about you at school. They won’t say ‘Emperor the First’, that’s lame.” Ren raised one eyebrow to make his point.

“I’m starting to realise you’re not going to let me sleep until this has been resolved.” Hux sighed, exasperated.

“I think I’m going to call you Anakin,” Kylo mused, ignoring the sarcasm in Hux’s tone.

“Why?” Hux sighed because that was the only thing he was capable of.

“It’s a beautiful name for amazing people.”

“It’s your dead grandfather’s name.”

“And now I want you to have it.”

Hux stared at Kylo for a full minute, contemplating his next words and finding out he had no clue what to say.

“Should I be flattered or weirded out that you want to call the man you have sex with the name of your worshipped grandfather?”

“How about we give it a one-week free trial?”

“How about you shut up and never bring it up again?”

“But why?” Kylo whined, “You said you’re flattered.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I want you to picture your family members when we have sex.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“You would,” Hux gave Kylo a glare that could only be interpreted as that of a person who’d been in a situation like this many times before.

“Let me try, I promise to be good,” Kylo’s eyes widened in a very persuasive puppy ones.

“No.”

“I’ll stop using your comb and I’ll get my hair from the shower drain.”

“Or I could cut your stupid hair off and half the problems we have wouldn’t exist.”

“Please,” Kylo kissed Hux on the tip of his nose, fully aware of how much Hux enjoyed it.

“Screw it, this is ridiculous,” Hux huffed, “I do have a name. It’s just awful and I didn’t want you to use it.”

“What?!”

“I thought nothing you come up with could be more embarrassing than my actual name, but I’ve underestimated you.”

“Then what is it?”

“I’m not saying it out loud.”

“Fine, whisper it then,” Kylo trembled with excitement like a child before pudding.

Hux breathed out into Kylo’s ear, his voice barely audible. Kylo looked into the pair of green eyes he loved and searched for another deceit. It wasn’t there. Hux was blushing. It definitely was the truth then.

“That’s the best thing that’s happened to me in the last month,” Kylo said and burst out laughing and he didn’t stop until tears were running down his cheeks, his stomach was aching and Hux’s ears had the colour of the First Order flags.

 

 


End file.
